Old Man

One day after losing my faith
I receive a call from an old man
Unknown to me, but somewhat familiar
I find out he’s me, sixty years later

I’m nervous to discover what he’ll say
He thanks me for the decisions I’m making
He says, “Right now, you must not lose your faith
“If you could only see what I know now

“You can’t see the light or guess the ending
“You don’t see the thousands of lives you’ve touched
“You can’t know the difference you’ve made
“You don’t know your story others will cherish

“Everyone here wants to know how I was
“Where I came from, and how I arrived here
“That story begins with you, where you’re at
“And takes you on a mind-blowing journey

“If you ever doubt whether it’s worth it
“Or wonder if your acts are important
“I’m here with countless others by my side
“Who can testify to your greatness

“Your wife, your children, and your grandkids
“See you as their hero and example
“Many others you will uniquely touch
“In ways that no one else possibly could

“People are shocked to find you doubted at times
“They don’t believe you were once like them
“They wonder why people would doubt you
“They only see all that you’ve become

“They see the way you gave selflessly
“And how you persevered through great odds
“They’ve tasted of your kind heart and demeanor
“And knew you’d always make it through in the end

“They don’t know you could never see it
“They thought your faith and vision were perfect
“They can’t imagine how their lives would be
“If you had given up and quit long ago”

Then he hangs up, and I am left to myself
I still can’t see it, but I can imagine
My faith has returned, new action is taken
What an exciting journey now lies ahead

–Jason Westlake
Wed., December 13, 2006

It’s My Time

Others I have watched do it for years
Envy flowed through me as I waited
Every move I studied carefully
Dreams and visions I’d rehearsed many times

After what seemed an eternity
They called my name to play on the field
I darted out fast, eager, and blind
I soon felt the effects of the game

The noise of the crowd blasted my ears
Thousands of eyes burned holes in my soul
The opposing team knocked me right over
Pummeled and trampled, I lay on the ground

When I rose came the worst enemy of all
The tightening and clamping down of my heart
A feeling worse than fear bound me down
I limped and crawled back to the sideline

My dreams were crushed as I sat in tears
Years passed by as I dwelt in the shadows
Memories and hopes I tried to forget
Away from the field I carefully stayed

But more wisdom and strength found its way in
Through the back door, sneaking up from behind
Confidence and experience
Built me up consistently through time

Back to the field I decided to go
I’m prepared to play this time around
Calmly I wait while they call my name
My time has come, dreams can come true

The day is here, and I am ready
The tempest rages and swirls around me
Focused, serene, at ease I am today
I cross the line, and play begins

–Jason Westlake
Sun., January 21, 2007

Exhausted Wonderfully

Exhausted wonderfully I am
At the end of every day
Satisfied with the work I’ve done
Accomplishing the day’s vision

Today I can say I gave my all
Today I fought and won the war
Today I overcame resistance
With a clear conscience I can sleep

That warming feeling of tiredness
Envelops and soothes my muscles
Confirming the actions I took
Infusing my soul with energy

Life is the sum of many days
We tend to repeat in habit
The actions we take every day
And thus, our stories are written

Another kind of exhaustion
Plagues a good many people
The feeling of being tired of life
Grating the soul, energy sucking

I used to know that kind of tired
Until purpose bashed me in the head
My life became full in an instant
Of all the things I’ve dreamed of doing

Today I did what I said I would
So I don’t have to live with regret
My integrity is still intact
I know I can still trust myself

Fulfillment and meaning abound
As I fight evil by laboring
Apathy was killed long ago
Work and action triumph supreme

I crash into bed, energy spent
Tomorrow the battle starts again
A new day is yet to be conquered
Time to rest to go do it again

Four Archetypes

Spectator:
The spectator sits in the stands, cheering for his team
Watching every move, analyzing every detail
Consumed in the players, not knowing anything else
Never the thought enters his mind that he could play too
He lives his whole life vicariously through others
Oblivious to his own, crumbling in shambles

Critic:
The critic knows everything, yet understands nothing
Comfortably attacking the doers under a scope
Yet under the same exam he would shrivel away
He never knows or feels fear and can always be right
Experiencing not being hit from the blindside
Understanding no pain, yet seeking the glory

Amateur:
But at least the amateur has desire to play
Anxiously awaiting his entrance on the sideline
His mind starts to wander as the obstacles he sees
Afraid of the spectators and the critics as well
His talents go unnoticed as he stays off the field
Unwilling to take action in spite of his fear

Pro:
The pro, despite dreading the field, steps over that line
Mocked, bruised, examined, and criticized unceasingly
The pro is thrown around and beaten down to the ground
Yet, he rises again wearing a bulletproof vest
Unafraid to fail, stumbling forward, making mistakes
If not for him, the others would have nothing to do

–Jason Westlake
Wed., October 25, 2006

Choreographed Anger

We both want the same thing, day after day
Love, a sense of worth, and to be understood
But we don’t know how to get it or give it
Even though we continually look

We’ve been hurt in the past on many occasions
And must hold our defenses to protect from the dagger
Thus quietly begins our cautious game of interaction
We continue on calmly, rounds of pleasantries exchanged

Until one round, by accident, touches my most sensitive button
And oblivious to what is occurring below
My mechanism of reaction is cocked and ready to fire
Without my consent, it unloads a series of volleys

And with it is packaged my keyboard of power
My close friend and companion is quite unsuspecting
As I successfully trigger her mechanism too
Returning along with her barrage of bullets

She unwittingly mails her keyboard as well
We carefully advance to the next series of events—
A choreographed play of intricate design
Acting as puppets in a well thought out display

She triggers my mechanism causing me to trigger hers
Unintentionally, yet professionally staged
We pawns are the writers, not knowing we have parts
Both holding each others’ keyboards of power

We menacingly take pleasure to press all the buttons
We both wince in pain as we trade off our rounds
The destructive cycle circles on, neither aware
The keyboards serving as voodoo dolls of power

Until we both lie wounded on the ground
From this, how do I get the love that I want
And the understanding I was seeking in this cruel play?
A change of heart overcomes me, and my keyboard dissolves

I rise up in power and stretch out my hand
Her defenses drop too, her keyboard disappearing
My new actions change hers, and the embrace comes soon after
To be loved and understood, I dropped my defenses

Dissolving the keyboard as well as my trigger
My trigger could only give me more pain
Because the only way to receive love is to give it
But my trigger only gives anger in return

–Jason Westlake
October 17, 2006

Elegant Eyes

Can I ask where you look in a conversation?
Is it down towards the ground, or up at the sky?
Is it off to the side, or off in the distance?
Maybe at a bird, or a specific object?

Is it unfocused in a general direction
Or is it zeroed in like a telescope
Studying intently every minute detail
Of a subject of interest gaining attention?

Is there a blank stare, with eyes glossed over?
Are their quick glances in every direction?
Perhaps, the focus on the body it is
Or on a rare occasion, maybe even the face?

Why do we look around almost everywhere
Dodging and skirting the most important place
Avoiding the eyes most uncomfortably
Almost ashamed if a connection we make?

If the eyes, the gateway to the soul they are
If to know thine own soul is to know another’s
And if to know another’s is to know thine own
What does it mean if their eyes we avoid?

–Jason Westlake
Mon., November 13, 2006

You Are Loved

When no one seems to care about you
When friends deserted long ago
When scorned and ridiculed you are
Loved and accepted you still are

Though an orphan you might be
Or suicidal you may feel
If porting around the scarlet ‘A’
Loved and accepted you still are

When depression overcomes you
When you’re rejected and feeling down
When alone on a deserted island
Loved and accepted you still are

When a compliment you can’t receive
When approval seems to elude you
When only criticism seems to find you
Loved and accepted you still are

When betrayed and left by your spouse
When beaten and molested as a child
When addiction takes love’s place
Loved and accepted you still are

When about you no one seems to care
When indifference is all you receive
When aware of your existence no one is
Loved and accepted you still are

When parents, children, relatives, friends
Brothers, sisters, all those you love
And even your spouse to you revile
Loved and accepted you still are

When the whole world records their hate
And every soul is turned against you
When love towards you resides in no one
Loved and accepted you still are

For if the whole world dwells not in love
If love can’t be found in any heart
Why, love can come from only one place
From inside yourself, from your power within

–Jason Westlake
Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I Do It Anyway

The alarm jolts me from my sleep
I’m too tired to get up now
Just let me rest a few more minutes
I get up anyway

I can’t start the project right now
I can’t do it, and I don’t know how
I will most certainly fail
I start anyway

I can’t go down this path not trodden
It’s dark, and I can’t see my way
I’ll fall or be ambushed from the side
I take the first step anyway

I’ve failed and encountered resistance
I don’t want to try any more
The pain and frustration are too much
I keep going anyway

I’ve been betrayed for the last time
Handing out trust has wounded me
Being open has let the darts hit me
I trust again anyway

I’ve crashed before while flying
I almost died the last time out
I’m shaking nervously at the wheel
I fly again anyway

My heart pounds and drops to the floor
My stomach is turning somersaults
I’m lightheaded and weak in the knees
But I go ahead and do it anyway

As long as we take action
Fear can never control us
But when we remain idle
Fear reigns supreme over us

During times of deep despair
When we’re overwhelmed by fear
When inaction seems the safe route
Is when we need action the most

Jason Westlake
Sat., December 9, 2006

Oneness

Every human spirit shares a common thread
A part of a divine source from up above
Manifested here individually
Permeating every cell of our bodies

This heavenly substance urges us to know
And prompts us to unite with every other soul
In hopes of reconnecting with what we once knew
When we resided with that Source once before

From this, each other we inherently know
Because our spirits are of the same substance
And already one, our greatest need to fulfill
Is to achieve that oneness with humanity

Like when a team works seamlessly together
Shunning personal glory to win the reward
Or when a kind friend takes the time to listen
Understanding our feelings and knowing our souls

It’s using the talents and passions we possess
To meet a need for a friend who receives it with joy
It is also the consummation of marriage
Resulting in bringing a soul into this world

But the most evil cursing, our supreme fear
Is separation and aloneness without end
It’s having no worth and having no purpose
With nothing to contribute, no reason to live

From this fear stems all of the stress and the worry
Associated with every known problem
That has occurred in the history of mankind
Destroying nations and wrecking millions of lives

Yet, that hope of oneness, the great uniting force
Pulls us together and fastens us soul to soul
It strengthens the group, completing the team
Forming a web, stronger than the sum of its parts

The only way that this is made possible
Is by the opening and offering up of the soul
To another in vulnerability
Hoping to achieve that union in return

And while moments of rejection do occur
Such obstacles we cannot let us deter
From striving to attain that personal fusion
Being understood and understanding another

The ultimate connection of oneness is found
In an equal exchange of giving and receiving
The love and the worth we inherently hold
To form a perfect bond uniting mankind

-Jason Westlake
Wed., November 8, 2006

Who Would I Have To Be?

What is it that can cause a completely sane girl
With a calm self-assurance and confidence
Who is strong, happy, independent, and loving
With direction, purpose, and a focused vision

Capable of surviving without a man
Able to support and provide for herself
Who is intelligent, understanding, and wise
A radiant beacon to all those around her

To take on such a horrible wager
Gambling with the rest of her life on earth
Risking her soul and all that she’s become
Placing her trust in the arms of another?

What would possess her to invest her energy
Her time, her talents, her possessions and wealth
Into a committed relationship
With a slight doubt of the outcome in the end?

What would compel her to hand over her heart
Voluntarily submitting herself
Her security, her ambitions and dreams
Into the care of another with no guarantees?

What kind of man would I then have to be
To receive a stewardship so sacred
To be entrusted with the most glorious gift
And the supreme creation of the cosmos?

What traits would pass her high code of worthiness?
What would she expect, and what does she deserve?
What would make her believe that I would be
The man of her dreams in reality?

All that I know is she certainly exists
She would prefer to have her man than be alone
My eternal mate is waiting for me
Praying for me to be ready for her

I’m anxious for when that day will arrive
When I look into her eyes at the altar
I’m preparing continually to be that man
That could cause her to entrust her life to me

-Jason Westlake
Sun., November 19, 2006