Anger and helplessness
The joy of life escapes me
Bitterness and indifference
My bed won’t let me rise
Frustration and contempt
Nothing I do matters
Emptiness and disdain
I have no purpose in life
Rage and powerlessness
I am forever bound in these chains
How did I get here?
How can I get out?
I used to believe
I used to dream
Until life’s punches came
Too difficult to overcome
I, not able to withstand
Surrendered in defeat
The pain was too great
I hope to feel solace now
In doing nothing at all
But my gifts and my life’s mission
Keep calling me back
Creating tension in my soul
For how could I be asked
To do the impossible?
To do what I wasn’t
Able to do in the past?
How I tried and I tried
I worked and I worked
And when I had failed
I kept coming back for more
Beaten down again and again
I couldn’t be defeated
As the years passed by
I knew my victory would come
But that day never arrived
No matter how I tried
Thousands of hours
And still no result
So I resigned myself
To do nothing instead
But quickly found my pain
Was even greater to bear
Now, I’m being called once again
To get back on that horse
The last place on earth
I would desire to go
My soul rips in two
As I mount that horse anew
I take a few more steps
And I am shocked to find
My success lay just a few feet beyond
Where I was willing to go
That horrible place where
I had decided to quit
–Jason Westlake
October 17, 2006
