Many things used to matter to me
Many ideals I couldn’t do without
There were certain goals I had to reach
And many people I had to please
Reputation, perception consumed my thoughts
With worry about what I might not have
I had to earn a level of money
To consider myself a worthy man
I knew I might not ever find
The perfect woman to please my soul
I had to accomplish a number of goals
Because failure meant my dignity I’d lose
I had to make sure me they accepted
To stroke my ego and massage my conscience
I had to have a safe secure job
Because the dread of loss consumed my soul
All these things I couldn’t do without
For to be without them meant I was nothing
And then my life would have no meaning
With nothing left to live for I’d be
But my worry left me with nothing
And all I wanted seemed to elude me
No matter my efforts, I wasn’t fulfilled
And could not achieve near my intentions
After a while, my dreams had faded
While worry and stress became by companions
And all that I used to matter to me
Was blown up in smoke, no chance for attainment
I was soon reduced to where I had nothing
Where I could never accomplish or be what I’d hoped
It was my darkest night in utter despair
Because I couldn’t identify myself with anything
Since I had nothing I was left to be still
Since I had lost all, I’d nothing to worry for
With no agenda, I had nothing to live by
No expectations to meet, no needs to fulfill
I was stripped down to my barest core
The only thing that remained was me
I soon felt like Jonah in the whale
My stillness in darkness was bringing me back
For to be reduced to nothing
Meant I had nothing to lose
And being left with nothing
Had left me with everything
When I was stripped all the way down
I found all I lost was my ego
In my hour of darkness I found my way home
I found myself and who I was longing to be
I found my freedom and my power to act
I found energy and strength I never knew
I could live without the fear, worry, or stress
That once had governed my previous life
I had nobody to please any more
Failure didn’t mean I was worthless
Achievement didn’t mean I was great
Nothing meant anything any more
And all that used to matter to me
I now attract with ease and abundance
Precisely because it has no meaning
Because I can now live without it
But mostly because the attachment is gone
What I didn’t know was tied to my ego
And ego always has something to lose
But the soul needs nothing because it has everything
Jason Westlake
Sun, July 15, 2007
